w.e.l.c.o.m.e.
get around using the links on the right
leave some love on the shout box
“There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall,
so many laws to keep you from experience.
All these cities I have been in the last few weeks make me fully understand the cozy,
stifling state in which most people pass through life.
I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride.
All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die.
I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow.
I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun -
hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks.
People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case."
I will turn and say to them
"It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job,
cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive.
For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that.
For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!"
And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup.”
-Henry Rollins
w.o.r.d.s.
Monday, July 4, 3:10 p.m.
music: kidney thieves
mood: scatteredMy mind has been playing tricks on my lately. Unable to sleep unless it's during the day. The night has become the only time I'm alert. Always having nightmares...and when I wake up they're like half forgotten memories. But they seem so real. Most of the time they're impossible...but I still question whether or not they happened.
Maybe it's because I'm getting back in touch with some people from the past who I thought had forgotten about me...I look at things and I really think it's better to be leaving here because the past is coming back to haunt me and I don't want to start watching those people as they continue they're self distruction.
It's weird that in the group of people I hang out with now they all see me as this sweet little innocent child. And I'm not sure if that's because by their standards I am...or if because they really, really don't know me...I'm starting to think it's the latter. Or maybe I've become some sweet little innocent child. I don't know anymore.
All I know is that this sleep is getting to me. And I hate the day now. There's nothing to it.
