w.e.l.c.o.m.e.
get around using the links on the right
leave some love on the shout box
“There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall,
so many laws to keep you from experience.
All these cities I have been in the last few weeks make me fully understand the cozy,
stifling state in which most people pass through life.
I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride.
All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die.
I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow.
I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun -
hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks.
People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case."
I will turn and say to them
"It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job,
cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive.
For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that.
For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!"
And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup.”
-Henry Rollins
w.o.r.d.s.
Wednesday, August 30, 12:24 p.m.
So I don't know if we'll be able to keep Nugget.
The apartment has changed its policy on cats from they're allowed to they're not allowed anymore and so we'll have to get rid of him unless we do move.
It's pretty annoying that they did that like RIGHT after we got a cat, but...I dunnno not much you can really do.
I'm hoping we do move but who knows. My sister and Phil don't really care one way or another and I have a feeling things wont go too happily.
I'll just have to make sure that if nobody we know wants the kitty we give him to a no kill shelter.
This makes me so sad.
Tuesday, August 29, 9:12 p.m.
So we're seriously considering another move.
Haha...man I'll have lived in 4 places in like a year and a half if we do.
Today we checked out a house in Mission. It's bigger, not on the highway and the cost is roughly the same as here.
Sounds pretty glorious to me.
Also, there's a Staples in Mission if I wanted to change locations, if not there's a busses to Abbotsford, they're like right beside each other...you can't even tell you're changing cities.
Silly BC
Saturday, August 26, 9:51 p.m.
Listening To: Buckcherry - Everything
Where to begin.
I have begun doubting everything. I figure that's a good start.
Never before has my life seemed so...unreal. Distant I guess.
I'm sure I mentioned driving past Nelson on our way home...it's like that one small city threw me off course entirely and now I'm lost.
I'm all too worried that the things I think I want to do are just things that others want me to do.
I've been listening to the ideas of everyone else and trying so hard to please at least someone that I feel like I've completely lost myself.
And now there's a deadline drawing really near and I'm afraid that if I don't make the right decision now I'm going to be really unhappy.
But I don't know what the right decision is...I don't even know what all the options are.
Before it seemed really clear and really easy. But now I just don't know.
The idea of running away seems so very tempting and I'm realizing for the first time that it's a possibility. I could just leave...I don't have any real commitments anywhere to anything except a mediocre job at a store with a million people to replace me.
I don't know, sometimes I just wonder why I'm here.
Why I'm not somewhere else and what it would feel like to be doing something really different.
Sometimes I think I'm just lonely, it's been a long long time since I've had a real friend.
, 3:13 p.m.
So I'm home. Finally. After roughly a month of being outdoors.
It was alright I guess, too much family though...or step family. Too much crappy weather. Too much time in the back of a cramped car without a roof on the highway.
But I'm one kitty richer. His name is Nugget, he's wee and pretty hilarious.
Soon it's back to work and all that jazz...not to mention registering for some makeup math classes (failure here I come).
I may be moving again soon. I don't think we're going to renew our lease on this apartment, the landlords are slimey bastards and that's not cool. We might even be renting a house or something.
On the way home from the big long vacation we took a detour through Nelson BC and it reminded me of how much I want to move there and it reminded me of how much I wanted to go to the art school out there. It makes me nervous because I have two things that I really want to do...and I don't want to make the wrong choice and end up hating what I'm doing with my life.
BC is a weird province, totally different from anywhere else in Canada, it has some of the weirdest little towns and cities.
Once I get some of the picutres from the trip I'll post them and write more.
But until then, adios.
Tuesday, August 1, 7:17 p.m.
So like...here's what I'm doing with university.
First of all I'm going to get my Associate of Arts degree in International Development Studies. Then I'll be able to transfer a shitload of credits over to my BA which will be a major in sociology/anthropology and an extended minor in Latin American Studies.
After those are done I'll be able to get my TESL (teaching language as a second language) course certificate really easy because pretty much everything I'm taking before that can go towards it.
And during all that I'm going to take as many different language classes as I possibly can.
So I'll be super duper edumacated.
Tomorrow we leave.
