w.e.l.c.o.m.e.
get around using the links on the right
leave some love on the shout box
“There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall,
so many laws to keep you from experience.
All these cities I have been in the last few weeks make me fully understand the cozy,
stifling state in which most people pass through life.
I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride.
All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die.
I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow.
I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun -
hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks.
People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case."
I will turn and say to them
"It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job,
cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive.
For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that.
For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!"
And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup.”
-Henry Rollins
w.o.r.d.s.
Monday, November 21, 4:52 p.m.
I find myself staying home so much now that I live in Saskatoon.
At first it was because I didn't have anyone to go out with...but now I've made friends and I feel like I should be out with them, doing things.
But I'm not. And for the most part, I really don't want to be.
Going out with them is usually more lonely than staying home alone.
Why? I have no clue. Everything is so different from Regina. Not different in a bad way, and I dealt with the move fine. I just...don't like it as much?
Everyone here has money, everyone gets what they want all the time.
I don't want to turn into that. When I was living in Regina, sure everything was a piece of shit. But I was closer to my friends for that. We really, REALLY needed each other. And I could tell them about anything, and they could tell me.
It feels like here everyone only talks about getting drunk, buying things and what they're getting from their parents.
I have such a small interest in all that.
I mean, I am glad to be away from all the drama in Regina. And all the unhealthy relationships I had with people. I know my lifestyle there wasn't a good one, and I don't really want to go back to it.
But at least it was real.
