w.e.l.c.o.m.e.
get around using the links on the right
leave some love on the shout box
“There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall,
so many laws to keep you from experience.
All these cities I have been in the last few weeks make me fully understand the cozy,
stifling state in which most people pass through life.
I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride.
All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die.
I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow.
I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun -
hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks.
People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case."
I will turn and say to them
"It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job,
cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive.
For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that.
For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!"
And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup.”
-Henry Rollins
w.o.r.d.s.
Wednesday, December 21, 8:49 p.m.
I guess it needs to be said.
I fell for you a bit harder than intended.
And you didn't fall the same.
This is the hopeless romantic in me (helpless too) who wants to dive in headlong.
But you're so hot and cold.
You give me everything that I want and then you take it away.
And it doesn't matter to you.
You say the sweetest things...sometimes. But you're not sweet at all.
You're the kind of person that I should run from, but I wont.
I always want what I can't have. And somehow I know I'll never have you.
But I'm yours...to play with? I hope not.
I'm scared of you. Honestly. You could really break my heart.
And you will...eventually. It's just a matter of when.
You had no plans to stay. You said so yourself.
I try to hide it. Sometimes I don't do it very well.
Cold shoulder.
But I don't think you ever look deep enough to see anything.
So I guess it's hidden from you.
When you're here though, time almost stands still.
I am protected and warm and I have no needs or wants unsatisfied.
And I look at you...
My problems melt away. Fake problems? And I realize how utterly silly being unhappy really is.
You claim you don't want to have to fix any problems.
But you do.
Without effort.
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.
This isn't love.
This much is for sure.
